It used to be easier, but there were so many things around me that couldn’t stay the same and it all became louder. There were people telling me what to say and reminding me of things I haven’t realized yet. Only when I write that I am able to listen to my thoughts clearer.
What if we laugh of things because of how things could’ve turn out to be, or get excited because of how things work out on our heads. Maybe we could be someone else by wanting not to be ourselves. Maybe that is what we all need, to dream while we are awake.
So I started to write about her, and how things must’ve happen to her because everything sounded better that way. I should be able to become the person I so wanted to be because change is what excite us the most, what moves us around and convince us of what we must want. Its true there’s a good and a wrong and that some states are better than others but its also true there are things we don’t understand maybe because we can’t or maybe because we shouldn’t.
I am good at creating utopias, the perfect scenery not because its good or bad, or because its simple or complicated but because its exiting. It keeps me wondering because I know things are always fragile and there’s no space for understanding. But most of all I know the best conversations anyone can have are with themselves, you say what you need to say and answer what you need to hear.