I already have my speech for when I do something big

There are so many things I want to do

It’s always scary to be in the other side of the crowd, I really never thought I would be brave  ambitious motivated enough to do something like this, but the lack of motivation got my head awake at school. And all I could do was stare at the ceiling.  It was the moment that I found out how my life was going to work out, right when I was standing at the peak of my life when you feel everything is posible, right when I turned eighteen.

It was stupidly paralyzing, I knew nothing about myself but was sure of one thing, I wanted to be remembered i was so scared. Acknowledgement from people I knew and from people I would never meet, but still they would know everything about myself. And I knew I had to quit that dream because it felt extremely crushing and it hadn’t even started yet, my life. The age of eighteen, the dream, everything have one they said, but mine was so uncertain I didn’t even dare to ask myself how would I accomplish this recognition massive acceptance.

Maybe it is time for me to stop wondering around every single possibility, or to convince everyone that is what they should do. Or maybe convince them that is why I considere myself myself. It should be easier to love someone, maybe because I deep down considere myself incapable to love I should or maybe because I haven’t found someone that can explain love to me rather than a movie.

It is easier to explain something to a little kid, even when it comes to feelings or emotions, and even if they “suffer” from a lack o experience. It is, on behalf of this that it is easier to make them understand, not because they are better at listening but because they are able to be whatever with whatever they have. And this is what I can give to all of you, words and explanations, I hope your’r able to understand and my capability to explain is as good as it is inside my head. I wish I was a little kid.

By Ana Fuente

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