I was drowning. That was the truth. Trying to understand why everything ended the way it did. We loved us, that was for sure.
But love wasn’t enough, even though I refused thinking that way.
Life, how would it be now? Now that you are no longer here, next to me. Now that I cannot recognize the person I see in my own reflection. It feels like if I woke up from a dream, the most precious one, the most enlightening one, the one in a lie dream, the one that just woke me and transformed me into ashes, leaving me thrown there, at the filthiest floor.
It has been a long journey reaching this port, if I can be honest at times I wasn’t even the captain of this ship, of my own dreams, of my whole life. How can I get to repair everything after drowning for months? How can I get to forget you, the only one love of my life? There is no possible way, I know it now. You will always live in the memories we created, in the mysterious secrets my skin now keeps forever. No worries, my love. I will treasure and lock them in the deepest place of my heart, now and forever.
Along the trip, when I gaze at the sea, I could only see your reflection, but I wasn’t there. As if after your departure, your soul stayed maybe not next to me, but inside myself. Words will never describe nor understand the you I got to know, nevertheless, I want to keep you for myself this way. Writing for you and burning the letters, letting the wind take everything with it. I foolishly think this way you will get to know how life is going after you.
Here I am, my love, one year later after losing you forever just in a physical way. No one ever understood our eternal connection, our spirit animals were attached together in an endless dancing. I can now let you know, I never lose you. We only transformed our love into pure energy, into pure goddess believing to being together again. Someday.
I will forever love you, my whole life partner.